Jedi dress the best!

Been a long time but I have found some good examples of how Jedi should and should not dress.

But first another look at those Jedi Faces…

So it’s always easiest to start by looking at what one should not do. The way of the Jedi is simple and always optimistic. This will apply to how you dress as well. You could easily don a black suit and call yourself Jedi, but people will laugh at you and instead call you a ninja. Ninja’s are really cool, but Jedi’s are way cooler! Just think about it…

So here are examples of what not to wear.


Never under any circumstances wear flannel! Don’t even question this statement, just do as the Jedi Code commands!

Ear muffs are a big “no-no” especially when fitted together with a vest of any sort

Floppy hats, or any hat for that matter… have you ever seen a Jedi wear a hat?

Alrighty! Now that we have that cleared out of the way, lets take a look at some steps to actually looking like a Jedi.

First Jedi wear solid colors. Even though black and white are solid colors they are the colors of priests, and Jedi do not consider themselves of higher religion than any other Jewish member! Oh wait… right, um, Buddhists, no… aargh whatever, you shouldn’t wear black or white cause it doesn’t photograph well ok!

Ok then, Jedi would normally wear large coats and such, to hide their light sabers but for our purposes we’re going to forego that. Instead we are going to wear high polypropylene garments that wick away sweat and other icky things that Jedi should not be associated with.

Lastly as a Jedi you should always wear as many logos on your clothing as possible. A Jedi at anytime of any day can point out a minimum of 5 sponsor logos and describe the logo’s that he is currently storing in his back pack incase of emergency, like if he comes across another Jedi that is not wearing 5 or more logos!

Here's a fine example of a Jedi in action! Shirt, Pants, Harness, Chalk bag, Shoes thats 5! not bad

Till then…. Next time we’ll discuss the inner thoughts of a Jedi!

The Jedi War Cry

So… first of all let’s cover the questions regarding Jedi Faces. It seems that certain faces could be considered Jedi, however only those who are Jedi will know the difference.

Never the less to clarify Jedi Faces!

First of all, a Jedi should never expose their inner parts. Not cause it’s a sign of weakness or anything. I would just hate to have to climb with a Mute Jedi!

• Second of all, it just looks plain Redneck! Jedi’s are never Redneck!

• Third of all, white men can jump! It just has nothing to do with the tongue!



• Also make sure that you are not constipated. 1 in 4 Americans will suffer from constipation, so make sure that you practice your Jedi Face in the mirror. If your face makes you feel like you need to visit the little boys/girls room, then … go with something else!

Ok… here we go! The Jedi War Cry: there are three parts to the Jedi War Cry, pay close attention as to not get confused with Jedi Faces!

• The first step is the Jedi Scowl,
  Allow yourself to think that you could become angered, but always remember that anger leads to hatred and hatred leads to the Dark Side. So just think about it, but don’t actually do it!



• The Growl. Now think “Dog with rabies” just without all the drool (please!). The Growl definitely leads to the next step, but if you don’t get a good growl down, its going to be difficult to actual truly harness the full Jedi War Cry



• Next is the actual Cry that exits the lungs. Apply your soul to the War Cry and make the rock timid! With great power you could one day actually get the Boulder to submit. I have never achieved this personally, but I have heard of a Jedi War Cry so powerful that the Boulder just rolled over and said “rub my tummy”



• Lastly, do remember that the Jedi Way Cry is extremely powerful and if you do one day become a fine Jedi War Cry’r you could injure fellow Jedi. Use the Force well and it will reward you.
  



• And just for your information, the Jedi War Cry does not look in anyway like the next example. This would truly be the result of contemplating the Dark Side.

Till the next time scream like you mean it. Oh and don’t use the Jedi War Cry on V zeros and ones, they don’t give a hoo-haa and will never submit. (plus its just not cool)

Look forward to learning the art of dressing like a Jedi!

Welcome to Jedi Climbing

Here we learn to use the force to climb very difficult problems! Bouldering is extremely difficult and sometimes on rare occasions we levitate during a move. Only through process of trial and error will you ever achieve Jedi Mastery!

In this first step we will learn the difficult art of the Jedi Face! Some were born with it, others have obtained it through rigorous training and years of trial and error. I hope that you would master this skill within the next few coming weeks. Using my drones as examples, I will lead you through this experience!

• First we must look inward~find your inner self motivating face.Then practice it, preferably in front of a mirror, many times before you just pull it out in the gym or something! Make sure that when others see it, they will know that it is the way of the Jedi face!


• Next… mean it! When using the Jedi Face, make sure that you mean it. Remember it comes from within. Therefore when you use it, it must be summoned from true belief. If you use the face falsely, it will not enable you to use the force! If anyone laughs at your Jedi face, it is only because they are jealous of it and they themselves have not yet figured out how to use the force. Pity them for they are still in the Dark!

This should get you on your way… next week we will answer questions about the Jedi Face and move onto one of the most powerful forces within the force. The Jedi War Cry!

Till then… Use the Face!